Well ‘ ere tis’:

T’were down Gwid (Gweek for the English) way that we did travel on St Piran’s Day, arre patron saint – ‘e weren’t theer cos ‘es gone roun’ land. Weed all ‘ad a skinful last nite at that their right aul do we do ‘ave each year. Still we maaden in time although sum were a skat be’ind.

Now as I weere saying the’er we all we’ere so we ad to get goin. Dreckly are ‘ares, Has and Haricot a proper pair theem be, set us on t’way. They likes to fish outta ‘elfer yer knaw. Well it weren’’t long fer we’re in sum stank down near the waater. Gud shiggy! Next we scat are way through that theer undergrowth. Oh gawd weer’em scating up the plaace. I then sees ‘em girt great louts thrashin ‘bout in the waater. I ask ‘ee, doant it make ‘ee sick! Mind ‘ow you go! My lor whatever next! I twas afeer’d but theyd didna git me thoough!

Well ‘pon my soul ‘eer tis the ‘ash ‘alt. My dear it twere gud! Av a geek at that theer lobster and fish! ‘Ansum! Gar we even ‘ad a drop of waater and beer as well, you. Ess well oft we go agin! We felt that light ‘earted as we raan along – ‘twas proper amazin’!

We even ‘ad time fer bit chat. ‘Alf a sec as we clank along I sees the pub at the back of beyond. In fer a drop of the proper stuff, croust and those theere down downs what we do do. Ess now lets git ‘em doawn. That there DishyGoolies ‘ee spouts I’ll give ‘er wan! Tis that maid b’hind the bar ‘ee do fancy a bit!

Ess well this ‘eer newsletter ‘as taken sum time to write so do ‘em think I’ll be up fer won of ‘em theer awards next year fer dis newsletter? I kin only ‘ope! Otherwise I do want talk to ee bad!

See ‘ee ‘gaan dreckly mee ‘ansums.

Luv from that auld maid PMT

SCORES FOR THE HASH: 169

MARKS FOR THE PUB: 101

DOWN DOWNS:

Hares - Has and Haricot (trying to be Romeo and Juliet to win the award next year!)

Brussel Sprout for going into Men’s toilet last night to blow up the doll when Bo Bo’s was in there having a wee. WILLY WARMER (what a surprise!)

Bhindi for using a young child to avoid Snow White’s muckspreading.

Furry for asking a very young harriet (Saucy Dude) for her phone number.

Horny Flasher for abuse of Harriet and for lying about losing her sock. HASH PRATT

Skids – 100 runs.

Two girls who missed the welcome drink at the start.

Faye named Artful Dodger because she avoided her drink last week.

     On On PMT